Eric has cleaned our carpets for the past fifteen years and has become our friend. He builds extra time into his schedule when he visits our house for conversation, just a little time to catch up. It’s our twice-yearly check-in, a quick assessment of the best and the most challenging life has had to offer since we last saw one another. When you think about your life in six-month intervals it feels doable. Crisis’ have just worked out and you realize you’ve dug down deep to find the strength you didn’t know you had. You remember the good things that happened while you were not paying attention. It’s like presenting your life report card to someone leaning into your personal story and it is reflective and just plain nice. Eric doesn’t do this for all his clients but with us, he pencils chat time right into his book. It’s the kindest placeholder.
Before Eric gets to work the three of us stand in the kitchen for a few minutes to parse through the latest news on growing kids and grandkids, weddings and graduations, maybe gripe a little about politics. Then, he sets about ridding us of all the soil that comes with a messy life and jokes about puppies and elder dogs, teens, and grandbabies being great job security for a carpet cleaner. I nod and laugh every time, grateful for the paws and snack spillers in my life. I’m happy to fill up the silences with the sound of voices whenever possible and it’s okay if they spill a little.
Few of us know how to leave space for people who matter most. We assume things will always be the way they are, people will always be around, and yet we know circumstances are constantly changing and are so very out of our control. This is the paradox of the human condition, awareness, and ignorance all wrapped up in complicated little packages. Intentionality allows us to be present with one another. I should be a little more like Eric and pencil a few people into my next day’s plans. Like birthday reminders or lunch meetings, simply part of the context of the day, but more important. Perhaps plan to push away time wasted on things like social media and worrying, erasing those from the calendar entirely, they only crowd out joy. It’s worth a try. The currency of time well spent is likely transformative. I could do with a little more magic these days.
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