We were both fully vaccinated (which feels euphoric) and we were gaining momentum, dipping our toes back into the revolving world and feeling all the strangeness and joy of participating in things that used to be mundane, like going to Target or visiting a socially distanced gym. A year of self-regulation and being alone a lot amplified any tendencies we had to be introverts so re-engaging felt like work. Dan and I were taking steps to re-enter society and spread our wings like hatchlings who stayed too long in the nest, we rubbed our zoom-weary eyes and started to rev up, gaining speed daily. And then quite suddenly, we lost our internet, landlines, wireless, and cable for the weekend, which stunted liberation in ways that surprised us like an unmarked speed bump on an unfamiliar road.
Two weeks prior, I called our local cable/internet/phone providing monopoly to say we would like to drop just cable TV and happily stream what we preferred. My plan was to cut our bill and my viewing habit significantly. Panic ensued on the other end of the phone line and I was promised a deal entirely too good to be true to carry on with our old pal, cable television. The salesperson dangled a slashed monthly fee and double internet speed like carrots if we stuck around. I should have known better but acquiesced, giving myself a nice pat on the back I might add, for being so smart and savvy. We installed the new modem expedited to us and eight days later our cable television service ceased to exist. It was just gone.
“Suzanne,” Dan innocently suggested, “Let’s finish activating this new service online. Maybe that will fix it.” One would think.
When that didn’t work we called the helpline provided on the materials accompanying the modem only to be randomly disconnected over and over again before anyone picked up, as if driving through an underground tunnel. There were a few more numbers to try so we did that, too. Still, no answer and then, disconnection. Maybe their online support chat might work? We gave it a whirl. After ten minutes in the queue we connected with Chester, our would-be hero, surely Chester would be our bridge back to cable tv viewing. Chester couldn’t quite help us out but he was able to do one crucial remote act, he completely shut everything down. Our hopeful chat abruptly ended because our cable, internet, and landline went dark, had it not been for our cell phones, we’d have lost our connection to the outside world. Wireless was gone, too, so there would be no online reunion for us with Chester.
Thus began a series of cell phone conversations with a consortium of customer service tech folks lasting in total around six hours, first Angela, then Jerome, there was Natalie, and Lana, ending with Terry who assured us that Pat Boone (yes, Pat Boone?) would “call us back in ten minutes” to try and give us an earlier date for a local service call prior to the appointment we had two full days from that moment in time. Pat Boone let us down too, he never called. Within each conversation Dan worked mightily to troubleshoot alongside our helpers, remaining calm, silently plotting our escape from cable, which I now see can only come about by running for public office campaigning against cable and internet service provider exclusivity, which we know is incompatible with equity. Dan would definitely win with a platform like that.
So, things in our little world were silenced. We took the evening off from thrashing about on the phone with service technicians, looked into one another’s eyes for a few minutes, then one of us did laundry, and the other played computer games. We read, had a nice dinner, went to bed early, and noticed our productivity rose and our anxiety lowered if we reframed this as an opportunity to get a few things done without the distractions. It was the weekend and slowing down could be okay if we decided so.
The next morning, Dan went to the socially distanced gym and came home with renewed hope and a fresh idea he could share with our growing cable tech support cohort. He called one more time and posed a new question which led to the remarkable discovery that all the folks who’d been trying to help us the previous day were operating under the assumption they knew the modem model number which was actually incorrectly recorded in their system. The correct number was plugged in, accuracy ruled the day, and we were up and running, full steam ahead! Well, except that we were back where we started and still did not have access to cable television. As it turns out, that was never going to be part of the package promised to me, I had been lied to. True, the price had been cut in half, the internet was faster. I really didn’t want cable television anyhow and I decided to let go of any anger I may have had towards the poor, tortured customer service soul who resorted to fudging the truth for a living.
So, this is what it will feel like as we venture back out into the world again and fill up our days with interactions with people who have forgotten themselves. It will be clumsy, some people will disappoint and others will shine. And everyone will be doing the best they can, which will just have to be enough. We have all been stunted in one way or another for over a year, and wouldn’t it be better to practice patience and equanimity over and over again until it becomes part of us? Yes, yes it would.
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